Never Had A Dream Come True
by Kitsune-Onna19
Summary: Kaoru's pregnant and Kenshin's not having the best experience…


Disclaimer: dont own rurouni kenshin or the title!  
  
Kaoru has been been pregnant for about 8 months now (she's pretty blimp). And it seems like Kaoru's contractions hurt Kenshin more than it hurts Kaoru. I think this would be one the most memorable contractions in history.  
  
Misao is visiting the dojo for a week, so she and Megumi are helping Kaoru through her pregnancy. Kenshin is trying his hardest to stay out of Kaoru eyesight [and earshot], but no help._  
  
_Kaoru: OWWWWWWWWWW!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! He did this to me, HE WILL PAY!!!!!!!! Misao, go get that_ pathetic wimp _I call_ a husband!  
  
_Misao: _(w/ anime eyes)_ I don't really know where he is at the moment, do you?  
  
Kaoru: WELL FIND HIM NO BAKA!!!!!!!!!!!!!  
  
So Misao quickly runs off to find Kenshin, who is in his room talking with Sanosuke._  
  
_Misao: Kenshin, Miss Kaoru wants you. She's waiting in the next room.  
  
Kenshin: Did she address me as husband?  
  
Misao: Yes.  
  
Kenshin: That can't be good. _(so he walks over to the next room)_  
  
Sano: Man, he needs to learn to take control of his woman!  
  
Kenshin: _(in the next room; looking around for Kaoru)_ Kaoru? You said you wanted to see me?  
  
Kaoru: Yes. Please enter _husband_.  
  
Kenshin: _(cautiously enters the room)_ Oro?  
  
Kaoru: _(w/ anime face yelling; pops out of nowhere and strangles him)_ YOU_ POND SCUM_!!!!!! ALL MEN ARE _SCUM_!!!!!!!!!!! _(stops strangling his)_ What am I saying? Since when were you _a man?!?!?!?!?!?_ _(strangles him again)_ YOU HAD TO GET ME _PREGNANT_, DIDN'T YOU!!!!! I THOUGHT YOU SAID YOU NEVER WANTED TO HURT ME!!!!!!!! _(takes his sword and is the the position to do the Ryuu Shu Sen) _YOU WILL PAY!!!!!!!! You know, I'd rather go through Sanosuke before I go through you!  
  
Sano: _(walks in w/ anime eyes)_ Did I hear somebody call my name?  
  
Kaoru: _(w/ anime face) Sanosuke Sagara _**MISAO!!!!!!!!**_ (walks out of the room)_ Hey Misao, where are you're kunai knives? I need them for something.  
  
Misao: _(w/ anime eyes)_ Ummmm  
  
Misao: GIVE IT TO ME!!!!!!!!! _(Misao quickly takes her Kunai knives out and hands them too Kaoru)_ Thank you. I'll return them later. _(she leaves the room, leaving Misao speechless. Meanwhile, Kenshin and Sanosuke are also in the same situation)  
  
_  
Before Kaoru gets back to the room  
  
Sano: _(w/ anime eyes; whispering) _Kenshin, SPARE YOURSELF!!! GET OUT OF HERE WHILE YOU CAN!!!!!! _(Kenshin nods and runs to the next room just as Kaoru enters the other, luckily, Kaoru didn't notice him; Kenshin is listening in from the other room, even though he can only her faint yelling)_  
  
Kaoru:_ (bursts in) _WHERE'S MY HUSBAND!?!?!?!?!?!?!  
  
Sano:_ (w/ anime voice)_ Ummmmm haven't seem him in a while.  
  
Kaoru: Hmmm Alright then. _(realizes)_ Oh, Sanosuke, I never got to throw those knives at you, did I?!?!  
  
Sano: _(w/ anime eyes)_ What knives?  
  
Kaoru: You don't remember the circus? Why don't I _refresh_ you memory.   
  
Automatically takes out the knives from behind her back; Sanosuke gets anime eyes. He tries to run to the door, but Kaoru cuts him off and blocks the door (leaving him in big danger). She corners Sanosuke and get him up against the wall (with Kenshin on the other side), she throws a knife, which pins him to the wall. Kenshin who's pacing in the other room, thinking about what to do about his problem. Sanosuke got so scared when the fourth knife was thrown, the he used the Futae no Kiwami, and busted the wall down. On the other side, Kenshin finds a fist right in front of him. Then, Kenshin sees Sanosuke running as fast as his long legs can take him, and a ponytail follow.  
  
At this point, Kaoru (running after Sanosuke) remembers Kenshin, and runs backwards to him.  
  
Kaoru: _(rumbles inside)_ KKKKEEEENNNNNSSSSSHHHHHHHIIIIINNNNNN!!!!!!!!!!!!!! _(he now starts running after Sanosuke, who he eventually catches up to him. Kaoru follows, raging inside, with the knives still in position)_  
  
Sano: Do you think she'll catch up?  
  
Kenshin: No doubt she'll catch up. Just run as fast as you can.  
  
Sano: Right. _(looks back)_ She's gaining on us Kenshin!!!!!!!!_ (Kaoru catches up and grabs Kenshin's hair and Sanosuke's gi and pulls them so that they're running on air)_  
  
Kaoru: YOU DID THIS TO ME NOW **_FEEL MY WRATH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! _****DIE BATTOUSAI!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!_  
_**  
_All of a sudden, Kenshin pops up and finds himself in the practice room at the dojo sitting up with Sanosuke by him.  
  
_Kenshin; Was it all a dream? It had to be. I'm just so glad that was just a dream. _(he sighs and then thinks everything is fine.)_  
  
Sano: Hey Kenshin, what's wrong?  
  
Kaoru: _(from outside the practice room)_ Misao, go get _my husband!  
_  
Before Kenshin answers Sanosuke, he gets anime eyes and starts to worry. So, he stands up and runs to the Akabecko, dragging Sanosuke along with him. (he hopes he'll be safe there).  
  
well, how was that?! i know it's funny i thought of it at school and told my friends they laughed just as hard as i did! R&R!!!


End file.
